She loves you, She loves you NOT... The tale of the crazy ex clinger.

Dear Brian in New York (Upper East Side to be exact),

I know you are sad and lonely. I know you are miserable without your beloved. I know you miss her smell; I know you daydream of the way she twirled her spaghetti and sipped her wine while you dined by candlelight in the city. But the fact of the matter is, she ain't comin' home. Sweet, sweet boy... she ain't yours no 'mo. She's on to greener pastures, she's found her cowboy. Please. Let it be. We know your misery wants company, but she's gonna sit this hand out; she's not playing this game with you. I'm sure she wishes you well in your new endeavor as a 30 year old 'fit model' / bartender and hopes you can renew your 'relationship' with Gina, that homely looking lawyer you cheated on her with.  I'm positive she wants you to be able to get some sleep from now on. Actually, I'd be willing to bet that she hopes it's a long time until you wake up. Like a reallllly long time. Like, forever.

Love, 

Jessica

P.S. She's discovered T Mobile doesn't block numbers, you lucky little bastard.