It's April. And while I love the daffodils and gladiator sandals and not so much the fact that families all coordinate their Easter outfits (Why do y'all do that? And why do your husbands agree to wear lavender? They hate you for that, you know), I do love spring. It means I'm more motivated to quit shoveling food into my face due to the fact that bikini season is quickly approaching. It means beach vacations and lake fishing and hot 'n sweaty boys running through Chastain Park. And as God would have it, you can't have everything work in your favor - so he threw in a little yellow haze just to keep us on our 'I Don't Do Dishes' pink manicured toes. Thank you, Father. Who would've guessed swollen eyes and a runny nose went so well with my tanned skin and floral sundress?
Alas, Easter is over which means Lent is dunzo. Peace out, don't come back soon. But because your family 'Easter 2010' pictures of your matching outfits at the church Egg Hunt make me want to vomit, I'm staying away from the 'Book. You heard it, no more Crackbook. I've got all I need in my life and if I'm missing out on anything, I've got friends in low places who are on round-the-clock patrol to inform me of any on-line mishaps or baby mama drama. I love my life.
I've heard 2 (yes, only 2) people say they miss my status updates and 'crass observations' on their homepage. Truth be told, I miss 'em too. Now, my thoughts are fleeting and no one gives a shit. The only person who laughs at them is me. It sucks. I like it when people laugh at me. I mean 'with' me.
I'll start tweeting, I suppose. You (2) bitches got your wish. Follow me here.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
We Know Better
1 week ago
